Eggs and Sausage (In a Cadillac with Susan Michelson) I was always eh... kinda wont to like to consider myself kind of a pioneer of the palate. A restaurateur if you will. I’ve wined, dined, sipped and supped in some of the most demonstrably demi-epitomable bistros in the Los Angeles metropolitan region. Eh-he-he-he... Yeah, I’ve had strange looking pattymelts at Norm’s. I’ve had dangerous veal cutlets at the Copper Penny. Well, what you get is a breaded Salisbury steak and a Shake’n’Bake, and topped with a provocative sauce of Velveta and half-and-half, he-he-he. Smothered with Campbell’s tomato soup. He-he-he-he... You see, I had kind of a eh... well, I ordered my veal cutlet, Christ it left the plate and it walked right up to the end of the counter. There was this waitress named Irene. Boy, she’s wearing those rhinestone glasses with the little pearl thing clipped on her sweater. The veal cutlet come down trying to beat the shit out of my cup of coffee. Coffee just wasn’t strong enough to defend itself. Eh-he-he-he... Nighthawks at the diner of Emma’s 49’er There’s a rendezvous of strangers around the coffee urn tonight All the gypsy hacks and the insomniacs Now the paper’s been read, now the waitress said Eggs and sausage and a side of toast Coffee and a roll, hash browns over easy Chile in a bowl with burgers and fries What kind of pie? Yeah... It’s a graveyard charade, it’s a late shift masquerade And it’s two for a quarter, dime for a dance Woolworth rhinestone diamond earrings and a sideway’s glance Now the register rings, now the waitress sings Eggs and sausage and a side of toast Coffee and a roll, hash browns over easy Chile in a bowl with burgers and fries What kind of pie? Yeah... Now well, the classified section offers no direction It’s a cold caffeine in a nicotine cloud Now the touch of your fingers lingers burning in my memory I’ve been 86’ed from your scheme Now I’m in a melodramatic nocturnal scene Now I’m a refugee from a disconcerted affair Now the lead pipe morning falls, now the waitress calls Eggs and sausage, another side of toast Coffee and a roll, hash browns over easy Chile in a bowl with burgers and fries Now what kind of pie? Have a bowl if you will Just come in and join the crowd Had some time to kill, yeah You see, I just come in to join the crowd Had some time to kill Just come in to join the crowd Cause I had some time to kill Words and music by Tom Waits ©1975 Fifth Floor Music, Inc. (ASCAP)

Recorded live by Bones Howe Assistant engineers: Rick Smith, Ron Marks, Kelly Kotera, Steve Smith and ‘Big Norm’ Dlugatch Recorded at the Record Plant or Wally Heider Recording, Hollywood, on July 30 or 31, 1975 Tom Waits: Vocals and piano Mike Melvoin: Electric piano Pete Christlieb: Tenor sax Jim Hughart: Upright bass Bill Goodwin: Drums Time (intro): 1.55 Time (song): 4.13 Tracks 5-6 on ‘Nighthawks at the Diner’ 1975 Track 3 on the compilation ‘Bounced Checks’ 1981 Click here for other live versions