[starts with having a drink]
I couldn’t wait
Oh, believe me, I tried to wait
Actually, my doctor said I should quit drinking
And you know, when your doctor tells you to quit drinking...
you usually kinda chuckle [kinda chuckles]
Actually, I woke up this morning and I was the doctor as well
And the first thing I had to do was give myself a break... [cough]
So... [cough]... cheers!
Anyway, this is a little story about a guy named Frank O’Brien
A guy like every other guy, nothing different
Well, you see, Frank settled down out in the Valley
And he hung his wild years on a nail
that he drove through his wife’s forehead
He sold used office furniture out there on San Fernando Road
and assumed a 30,000 dollar loan at fifteen and a quarter percent
He put a down payment on a nice little two bedroom place
and what the hell’s wrong with that anyway?
You gotta live, you gotta live, you gotta live good!
Well anyway, his wife, well...
She was a babe, she was a doll, she was a killer
I loved her madly, I loved her... often!
Beverly was a babe, and all the while
Beverly was a spent piece of used jet trash, more specific
She made good Bloody Marys
Kept her mouth shut most of the time
I don’t know, they had a self-cleaning oven, the whole bit
They had a four-door sedan, they had a two-car garage
They had a ???? lawn
But Beverly had a little chihuahua, you know what I mean
I love dogs, I love all kinds of dogs
But this wasn’t a dog, this was a chihuahua
He had a skin disease and was totally blind
and the doctor went, you know:
‘There’s just so much I can do’
I wanted to know if I could get it too
Anyway, they were very happy
And one night Frank was on his way home from work
And he stopped at a liquor store
Kind of ????
He was near a liqour store
There was a liquor store in the area
It was close enough to it to...
Actually, the liquor store walked out across the street
and kinda swallowed him up
He had no chance at all
He tried everything, he ran, but it followed him
The poor guy didn’t have a chance
It was kinda like Jonah and the whale
While he was in the belly of the liquor store
he decided to do a little duty free shopping
and he picked up a couple of Mickey’s Big Mouths
The little beers with the big bite!
He drank ‘em in the car on the way to the Shell station
where he got a gallon of gas in a can
Now, there’s nothing wrong with a gallon of gas in a can
In a town with twenty-two million cars
you need a gallon of gas in a can
Anyway, he drove home
Now, they got a lot of rattan furniture in the house
Now, you got a gas can there, you got your rattan furniture...
And it all got mixed up
I don’t know, there was a match involved, I think
And the whole thing went up in smoke
And Frank parked across the street watching it burn
kinda laughing [kinda laughs]
It was all Halloween orange and chimney red
And Frank got on the Hollywood Freeway and headed north
He just never could stand that dog
Produced by Tom Waits and Kathleen Brennan
Track 2 in the movie 'Big Time' 1988
But the transcription to the left here is from
Draken, Stockholm, November 27, 1987
Other live versions available on these bootlegs:
